I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
