More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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