it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
