All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
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