She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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