Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
