you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
