All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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