i can't believe i had my finger in that
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
