before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
