when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
