hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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