Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
