i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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