i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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