we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
These tits shall not be calmed
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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