All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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