He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
