eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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