apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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