The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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