whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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