why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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