i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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