Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
