Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
