She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
