He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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