why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
