I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
