You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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