I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
