You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
