I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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