trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The power of my boobs compel you
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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