So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
