I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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