we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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