How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
