You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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