butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
