Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
