discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
