Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
