bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
