hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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