You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
