Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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