tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
