so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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