I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
