that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
