is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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