Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
