i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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