she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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