So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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