Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
