Just fell off a train. Bad.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
