Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
