that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
