Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
