I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
