I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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