That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
