After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Two words: blizzard sex
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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